We probably all know people, either at work or in our personal lives, who are really good listeners. No matter what kind of situation we’re in, they always seem to know just what to say – and how to say it – so that we’re not offended or upset. They’re caring and considerate, and even if we don’t find a solution to our problem, we usually leave feeling more hopeful and optimistic.
People like this have a high degree of Emotional Intelligence (EI). They self-aware, compassionate, empathic, know themselves very well, and they’re also able to sense the emotional needs of others.
“What really matters for success, character, happiness and life long achievements is a definite set of emotional skills, your EQ, not just purely cognitive abilities that are measured by conventional IQ tests.”
Daniel Goleman
Over the last decade science has discovered a remarkable amount about the role that emotions play in our lives. Researchers have found that more than Intelligent Quotient (IQ), your emotional awareness and abilities to think, feel and act determine your success and happiness in all walks of life, including relationships.
Being aware of your emotions can be difficult; at times it can be overwhelming.You need to be able to step back and see what you are experiencing, accept the emotion and then choose more positive thoughts and behaviours to enhance your level of happiness.
The key to accepting your emotions is to do what you need to do despite what you are feeling. Accept and learn from your feelings, but don’t let them run your life. By remaining productive during difficult emotional periods, you are more likely to improve your emotional state than if you do nothing. This is why emotional intelligence is a far better predictor of success in life than IQ. If you’ve got a super high IQ and extremely low control of your emotions, you simply will not manifest your highest potential.
Here are eight simple ways to improve your emotional intelligence:
- Journal. Write down your thoughts and feelings daily it can have a profound and positive effect.
- Ask yourself: How do I feel today? Check-in with your sense of your overall well being and give yourself a daily score from 0 to 10. Notice if on one day they seem very different and explore why.
- If you are not sure how you are feeling, ask someone else. From time to time you may be so caught up in your emotions that you cannot assess how you truly feel. Ask someone you really trust, they will notice how you are communicating and coming across to other. You may find the answer both enlightening and surprising.
- Connect your feelings with your thoughts. Pay attention to your feelings, if something feels a little out of the ordinary allow yourself to investigate it and fully understand where it comes from and whether it is true or not.
- Listen to your body. Ask yourself what that knot in your stomach is about, or the ache in your shoulders. Could it be stress? If so, what from? Noticing butterflies in the stomach – is that a positive feeling? Remember we all have different feelings manifesting in different ways in our bodies, ensure you give yourself time to explore, feel and appreciate them.
- Tap into your unconscious feelings. One way to do this is to pay attention to your dreams. Write brief notes and notice where they have recurring patterns or where they are charged with emotion. Alternatively you can try free thinking, let yourself feel relaxed and allow your thoughts to wander freely, and then watch where they go.
- Don’t critique your feelings too quickly. Healthy emotions can rise and fall and fade naturally, allow yourself to acknowledge and think them through rather than just dismissing them.
- Shift your focus. Acknowledge when it is time to shift your focus from a negative emotion or feeling. It is important to be in the present and not stuck in the emotion.
If you are facing various emotional intelligence issues and cannot find resolution – then book in a Genius Zone Consult to discover what your current challenges are and explore how I can support you in solving those challenges.
Lastly, take some time and tune in to how you feel and register your emotional intelligence. You could be one step closer to added success and happiness both in your life and business.
